When I first opened my course pack to begin my reading for the break, I didn’t know what to expect. At first, I wasn't sure of what to look for or focus on, but as I began to read, ideas and themes were much simpler to pinpoint than I had expected. While creation was the most obvious theme to notice, destruction and questioning seemed to be the backbone of each story. If I’m being completely honest, that surprised me. I didn't expect there to be so much destruction and questioning, in stories about creation. These themes have a direct connection to the ideas we discussed in “Renaissance Self Fashioning,” they are just presented in a much different way. Unlike the novels by Stephen Greenblatt and A.O. Scott, the creation stories seem to be presented in a straightforward manner. In a way, there are fewer ideas up for interpretation by the reader than there were in Scott and Greenblatt.
The story that struck me the most was Book IV of “Paradise Lost.” Satan is enraged that he lost the battle in Heaven, so he plans to go to Eden to destroy mankind. He disguises himself as an Angel and approaches Eden. The next part of the story is what surprised me more than anything else I read. Satan, an evil, unmatched destructive force, starts to think as a man would. He questions himself, his worth, and his mission. Satan is Hell, and even if he actively tries to change, he will always be Hell, and God will never trust him. As he questions himself, his disguise begins to wear off, and his true colors show. After reading this story, I immediately related it to a quote and idea from “Renaissance Self Fashioning.” Augustine said, “Try to build up yourself, and you build a ruin.” Surprisingly, this quote holds true for this story of Satan. Satan attempted to be something he was not and it ultimately led to his demise. Satan wanted nothing more than to be allowed in Heaven, but he knew Hell would always be with him no matter how hard he tried to fight it. Moving forward, making connections will be essential to my understanding of the texts. Approaching the reading over break was much simpler than approaching the summer reading because I was able to think about the slew of ideas we have discussed in-depth over the last three months. If I keep focusing on these ideas and themes (questioning, destruction, discovery, etc.), I truly believe I will be on a path for success with these texts.
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Up to this point, I feel like I have accomplished so much in my time taking AP Lit. I have seen the most improvement in my thinking. My ability to interpret difficult ideas at the beginning of the year was nowhere near where my abilities are today. Whether it is analyzing AO Scott or Stephen Greenblatt, I am able to look much deeper than the surface (which is something I could not do before taking this class). I credit a lot of my success to the decision I made to switch into a class where I was much more comfortable. My growth as a thinker is, in part, because of that decision. Comfort with being wrong and classmates who support me day in and day out has made my learning even more rewarding.
I chose to include the two images of my CPB pictured above because I believe they are a great representation of my growth that I discussed earlier in my blog post. The first image is from very early in the school year when we were writing QTTA’s for “Renaissance Self-Fashioning.” At the time, I thought I did a solid job of diving into the text and writing meaningful questions, but when I reflect on those questions two months later I realize not only how simple the answers to them were, but how far I was from finding the true meaning of the text. The second image is from about a week ago when we were asked to analyze and question different aspects of Greenblatt’s “10 Conditions for Self-Fashioning.” The ideas I wrote and questions I asked were about the same topic as the first image but are nothing alike. That is because the second image is what the text is truly about, whereas the first image is questions from the surface. Although the questions in the first image are not “wrong,” they are not as deep and meaningful as I am capable of asking, and the second image proves that. My growth as a learner is evident, and I hope to make even more strides as the year progresses. Going into the second term and second semester, my learning goals remain the same. I want to continue to improve as a speaker and work on my ability to bring in evidence in my writing and group discussions. I have always been able to make valid claims, but this year has helped me learn how to support the validity of my claims with text and reasoning. Overall, I feel like I have had a productive year thus far and that I am on track to succeed in AP Lit. We have been analyzing the same texts for many weeks now, so new readings in the future will be a great test for me to see if my improvements are really as strong as I believe they are. Each time we revisit a text I see it through a different lens and develop a deeper meaning and understanding that I did not know I was capable of. As I read Renaissance Self Fashioning, I related it many other aspects of life. Self fashioning is defined as, “the process of constructing one's identity and public persona according to a set of socially acceptable standards.” This definition can be applied in many different contexts, not just the one that Greenblatt describes.
For many, self fashioning means wearing the “right’ clothes, speaking the “right’ way, and surrounding yourself with the “right” people. They do all of these things to change the way others look at them rather than how they truly want to be. They think their image is what is important and that it will help bring success. At Galloway, students are encouraged to be what they want to be. For that very reason, there is no dress code. When you walk in the door, it’s clear that students express themselves through their clothing. Students do not have to conform with social norms. Some students chose to dress up each day while others seem to roll out of bed and come to school. Their clothing choices do not make a difference in how teachers and students treat each other. Galloway prides itself on individuality and inspires students to be fearless and confident. When I visited Barcelona this summer, I noticed the architecture of the city. Most buildings looked very similar, but there were a few that stood out. These buildings were all built by Gaudi. He was true to himself and his architecture showed that. Rather than designing with a traditional approach, Gaudi’s buildings were colorful and made from a variety of materials including colorful tile, stone, ceramics, glass, and bricks. His buildings seemed seemed almost whimsical and out of a fairy tale. He did not conform to the norms, and many in the city were surprised by his choices. Because of this, he will forever be known as one of the most influential and important architects of his time. To this day it’s clear that many people are still intrigued by his work. Park Güell, Casa Batlló, and Casa Milà are just a few of his unique buildings. His most impressive work however was Sagrada Familia. Thousands of visitors tour this building every year to see this very unique and detailed architecture. Every inch of the building seems to tell a story. Gaudi showed us that it is important to be true to yourself and it will pay off in the long run. Self Fashioning also seems to be an important part of the political world that we currently live in. Donald Trump is pretending to be a Republican but his views are nothing but his own. In his speeches, he tells the world the great things he is going to do for this country, but we see no action. Trump is living proof that self fashioning seems to only have a negative affect on people. Until the 2016 election, politics were based on truth and reliability. As a voter, you choose the candidate you believe you can count on. Millions of people believed Trump would “Make America Great Again,” (me not being one). Trump was putting on a show for the American people and whatever they wanted, he would “make sure to do in office.” By the time he was elected though, his “self fashioning” had disappeared, and the world finally met the real (terrible) Donald Trump. “Try to build yourself up and you build a ruin.” My reaction to A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger
Before coming to Galloway, I attended a large public elementary and middle school. My elementary experience was very positive with teachers that really cared and wanted me to love learning. Middle school was a very different experience. The teachers wanted to talk while we sat quietly and listened and took notes. Questions were frowned upon, and we were not allowed to truly learn. Instead, we were expected to memorize and recite information back to the teachers on their tests. Assignments were never short answers that required thinking out of the box. Questions were rarely opened ended. Everything seemed to be black and white. If we answered a question wrong we would be penalized, and by the time the school year ended, we had forgotten a majority of the information we had “learned.” It was easy to forget information that I never connected with or really understood. I found reading A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger very interesting because it was the most relatable of the readings I have done so far this summer. The reading made me realize that I need to take advantage of the opportunities I have to explore and question at Galloway, because not everyone has these opportunities. I know my friends that I left behind in public school certainly do not. One idea that stood out to me was the comparison of the school environment to a factory environment. This is a perfect comparison. In factories, you do as you are told with little opportunity to talk or ask questions. There is not much to think about when doing the job. Factory workers simply memorize the steps needed to complete their specific task. For many, the school environment is no different. Students memorize information needed for one test or assignment. They “spit it out” on the test just as they were told and then move on to the next task. Just like a factory worker, there should be no room for mistakes or discussion. This is a problem that needs to change in our educational system. A part of the reading that I found most intriguing was the section where Deborah Meier discusses questioning and it's relation to social and economic status. Students who come from lower income families are trained not to question and students who are battling stereotypes are less likely to ask questions that expose that they do not know something. This saddened me to read this, because lower income students only resource for learning is school, so without taking full advantage of it they are missing out on learning opportunities. In my opinion, there is one main reason why students battling stereotypes do not question: fear. Fear is the last word you want to hear in a school environment, but it is very present. For students who are constantly profiled, it is legitimately frightening to ask a question. Not knowing something should not be seen as negative. Instead, it should be seen as room for growth and exploration, and the only way to do that is through questioning. At this point, I am feeling more confident as I complete each section of my summer work. I feel like I am getting more out of each section that I read. At first, I did not know how to approach the commonplace book, but now I am more comfortable commonplacing and thinking outside the box. As I looked through my CPB, I noticed the improvements from my first page to my most recent page of thinking. It is getting easier to pull out important points and relate them to prior knowledge. Sometimes reading passages require a second reading to fully understand, and I now know that is okay. I am very excited to see my improvements throughout the school year. “Believing something does not make it true; proving it within the light of reason does” (Scott, 48).
When I began this summer assignment I was overwhelmed. I did not know where to begin, so I started by reading the first passage by A.O. Scott, Better Living Through Criticism: How to Think About Art, Pleasure, Beauty, and Truth. A chapter that stood out to me was “Self Criticism (A Further Dialogue).” The quote I found most interesting was a response to a question about what kind of knowledge you can attain from reading a novel or watching a movie. What do you actually learn? The answer to this question, according to the interviewee, is that with reading you can “acquire a more intimate, richer sense of what is found there than you would through classroom study or organized travel.” I will have to disagree with this idea, as I believe that nothing can beat real life experiences. Also, the idea of reading someone else's experiences almost feels like you are invading their privacy. This quote has left me with one final question; how valuable are life experiences to our happiness? Over the course of high school my writing has drastically improved. As I transitioned from Freshman to Sophomore to Junior year, I slowly noticed my writing developing. I began to write more complex, well thought out essays. With all of these improvements, one glaring problem stood out; I struggled to prove my point and back it up with strong evidence from the text. This quote by A.O. Scott is what I need to live by this year in AP Lit, because it is essential to my success in the class. An essay can have a strong structure, complex sentences, and incredible ideas, but without proving a point, it is nothing. Throughout high school, English has been one of my favorite classes, and year in and year out I have been determined to improve my abilities, even when I had many doubts. This quote holds true in more facets of my life than writing. Basketball is a huge part of my life and I have never been satisfied with the player I was; I always had to improve. As a Freshman and Sophomore I played very infrequently, and I was sitting on the bench more than I was playing in the game. When my Junior season came around, I knew it was time to change. I was tired of riding the bench, and I was tired of being seen as a lesser player. My whole life I had believed I was a great player, and knew I could contribute to whatever team I was playing for. Now though, it was time to prove it. This quote was the perfect way to describe my season. I believed in myself, and proved to coach why I deserved to play. Our team would go on to win a school record 19 games, and make the State Tournament for the first time since 2003. I believed something, and went out and backed it up. |
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